Why?

Having broached the fact that Sandra is a very bitter woman I would like to voice my opinion on why this may be, taking into account a person is a product of their upbringing and past experiences and also Alienators like Sandra have been created through experiences in their life, typically their childhood.

Sandra’s father didn’t like me, as you can read in the memoirs. This led to conversations between myself and Sandra about her father. At one point she told me that as a punishment he would make Sandra and her siblings kneel on marbles, a punishment he himself endured as a prisoner of the Japanese during the Second World War. I’m pretty sure he suffered from PTSD, confirmed by Adam in a conversation with me recently. One of Sandra’s sisters also told her boyfriend of the time about the punishment, though mentioning beads rather than marbles. This also makes me question what else may have gone on behind closed doors during her childhood.

Sandra also told me of an incident involving her father and one of her uncles, a brother to her mother. Sandra’s father had punched him in an argument on their front lawn, Sandra witnessing the incident, possibly along with at least one of her siblings. Her father was arrested and spent a night in a cell at the main police station. Sandra never told me the reason behind the incident and I never asked. We hadn’t been going out long.

In the mid to late nineties, well into our marriage, an Uncle, one of her mother’s brothers, was arrested and imprisoned for abusing young girls. A man who would have had easy access to his sister’s three pretty young girls. A man who very likely would have received the wrath of Sandra's dad had he witnessed or been told something untoward. I may be adding 2+2 here and getting 5 but piecing it all together leads me to question certain aspects of Sandra’s childhood, especially given her sociopathic tendencies.

To compound this there was one physical aspect to Sandra that only I would know about during our time together. I would doubt she’s spoken to anyone else about it. I won’t add to her embarrassment by mentioning it as it is highly personal but we did talk about it and I never received a satisfactory answer regarding a issue she has. Finding out about her uncle led to more questions I never wanted to ask. 2+2=???

By this time I knew Sandra extremely well and her grooming of Stephanie was well under way. I’m no psychologist but, given her own experiences as a child, even only at the hands of her father and discounting any assumptions, was she protecting Stephanie from me? Even though I was no threat to Stephanie and never was a threat to any of my kids. In fact the threat was, arguably, always Sandra.