The Pathological Liar
This may be a good opportunity to boil the kettle and prepare yourself a very large mug of your favourite hot drink as this may be a long read.Compulsive Liar, Pathological Liar, Sociopathic Liar, manipulative Liar, Narcissistic Liar, Intentional Liar, White Liar, Careless Liar, Occasional Liar, Impressive Liar, Avoidant Liar, Tactful Liar. These are the common types of liar.
A very Dangerous Woman
Sandra is a dangerous liar. Given my experience she is a Pathological Liar, though, given her sociopathy she may be deemed a Sociopathic Liar. In my experience and taking into account the ruin of her best friend’s marriage in conjunction with our own and the implication of her friend in her bank fraud, Sandra is an extremely dangerous woman. An extremely dangerous liar.
She may be better described as a Sociopathic Liar, given her emotional numbness and apathy towards others when she is in need of, or wanting something (for example money or someone else’s husband).
Sandra’s use of our kids, in particular Stephanie and Sophie, in her quest to destroy me after her arrest, is disgusting.
Let’s first of all begin by saying that you cannot have affairs and steal without lying and from around 1992 until our separation in 2002 Sandra had numerous affairs, leading to pregnancy, and stole a considerable amount of money. And let’s not forget, the one thing that has preyed on my mind since early 1992 is the question as to Sophie’s father. That’s a long time and there is no arguing that, given Sandra’s promiscuity around that time, I am justified in questioning who Sophie’s father is.
Sandra's Revenge
Following her arrest for bank fraud Sandra became extremely bitter and angry and she would do anything to destroy my relationships with our kids, Stephanie and Sophie in particular.The following is an excerpt from an interdict arranged by Sandra through her solicitor. Note that I eventually made a formal complaint about her solicitor as I became more and more disturbed by Sandra’s lies and accusations, particularly considering Sandra’s claim that she was encouraged by her solicitor to lie, which you will read about shortly.
That was the most upsetting paragraph of the interdict.
During our relationship between 1979 and 2002 Sandra never had black eyes. None of her family, friends, working colleagues nor Adam, Stephanie or Sophie have ever seen Sandra with black eyes.
These accusations can be proven to be false.
Sandra was never the victim of a violent assault by me. Sandra was never hit, slapped or spat at by me.
In fact, there was a moment I spoke to her and queried her accusations. Her answer? ‘Och that’s just what solicitors do’. She was effectively blaming her solicitor for encouraging her spurious accusations.
I doubt Adam, Stephanie or Sophie have seen this interdict or are even aware of it. They would not be able to corroborate the accusations without making liars of themselves.
Regarding ‘bruises about her body’ I would question certain bruises she had around her torso. She would tell me that she received them at work while handling patients, lifting them onto beds, etc. She worked in geriatric wards as a nurse.
Given her promiscuity and the fact that the partner of one of her paramours followed her and witnessed her having sex with her partner in a car, it is very possible that some bruises were the result of contact with the handbrake and gear knob of a Ford Mondeo.
Within the interdict there are all manner of false accusations, though I do have to admit to an altercation with Sandra’s brother in law on Christmas Day 2002 when Sandra asked him to go to my parent’s house to collect Adam, Stephanie and Sophie. He knocked on the door of my parent’s house and my father answered. I heard him shout ‘Right kids, in the car’. That was a red rag to me. We had an altercation outside. I called him in the evening to apologise, which he accepted. He informed me he had been disgusted at having to leave his Christmas dinner, having been asked by Sandra to accompany her to collect the kids. I don’t think he was particularly enamoured at Sandra gatecrashing his Christmas Dinner in the first place.
I have to admit Sandra called me to take the kids to her, which I would have done, but her manner, as always, was disgusting so I told her she could collect them herself. She had a car, given to her by one of her paramours.
The whole thing with her brother in law, to me, was disgusting, given accusations Sandra made to me about him several years prior. Sandra has a very bad habit of leaning on and using others to her advantage.
Read about Flying Monkeys (insert link).
From what Adam has told me neither Sandra’s sister, nor her brother in law have anything to do with her anymore.
The following is a letter written by my solicitor in response to Sandra’s accusations.
It's beyond me why the family courts allow such allegations without any form of evidence or investigation.
The Thief
I’m only going to touch on how Sandra’s stealing affected myself. I’ve written in the memoirs about the first inclination of her stealing, which was from her mother.
Stealing my wages
My first experience was shortly after we had arranged to have a joint bank account. I was employed with Tayside Police at the time, my salary being paid fortnightly into our account on the Thursday evening of every second week. I would visit the bank on the Friday after they were paid and take out an amount that would cover the two weeks until my next pay day. One Friday I visited the bank and was informed there were no funds in the account and that Sandra had gone to the bank and cleared the account out. When I spoke to her it transpired she had taken every penny and spent it, granted some on shopping. In a domestic situation 50% of a joint bank account belongs the each party, no how much each person inputs. In this case my pay was far greater than Sandra’s. Sandra effectively stole from me. The following day I closed the account and opened one in my own name, forcing Sandra to do the same. Sandra was bitter about that for a long time, not because we no longer had a joint account but because she knew I didn’t trust her. I had good reason for my mistrust, particularly given the knowledge of her thefts from her own mother.
Stealing from my Aunt
Sandra also stole from my father’s sister Hazel. Hazel was an extremely close friend to Sandra. I had introduce them to one another at the beginning of our relationship. Hazel always acknowledged Sandra’s birthdays and Christmas as if she was one of her family. As Adam, Stephanie and Sophie became older Hazel would look after them to allow us to go out.
One day, when Sophie was at the crawling stage, Sandra visited Hazel with Sophie. Hazel’s house was open plan and Sophie went missing as Sandra and Hazel conversed in the kitchen. Sophie had crawled upstairs and Sandra went looking for her. She found Sophie in Hazel’s bedroom. Hazel had a considerable amount of electricity vouchers lying on a bedside table. Sandra use electricity vouchers to pay our own electricity bill so took Hazel’s vouchers. I didn’t find this out until after our divorce but Hazel did tell certain members of our family. She refused to tell me at the time and refused to report Sandra to the police. Another close friend shafted and a friendship ruined.
Credit Card Fraud
In early to mid 2001 I noticed my credit card statements were being printed onto white paper rather than the standard corporate colour designs. It was odd but I didn’t take much notice. I no longer used the cards and would just file the statements away without checking them. One day I was home at the time the postman came and Sandra made a bee line for the post, putting an envelope addressed to me in her housecoat pocket. She made it into a joke and gave me the envelope. This time it was a credit card statement printed in the standard corporate colours.
The statement was a shock. £5000 hade been spent. I called the credit card company and asked them to send me statements going back several months which they did. The statements were full of ATM withdrawals and spends with catalogue companies such as Freemans. The withdrawals were made at ATMs at places such as Perth, Blairgowrie and Meigle. All areas where Sandra had been working in nursing homes.
I confronted her about it and she admitted it. Obviously worried she asked what I was going to do. I paid the debt off for her and told her we would have to put it behind us. I would like to point out here, I doubt if an abusive husband would have been so calm about the situation and dealt with it the way I did.
In addition to the credit card fraud the following four cheques amounting to £1431 were stolen from me by Sandra and written out to herself. Her name, written in the payment line, is in her own handwriting and is too tidy to be mine. The signature isn’t mine.
Given what I’m about to write Sandra is a very lucky woman, taking into account I paid the credit card debt for her and allowed her to get away with credit card fraud.
Bank Fraud
Around early to mid 2002, I received a phone call at home regarding the lease of a company vehicle in connection with the studio franchise. Part of our contract with the studio company was a company car. The representative of the lease company was calling to tell me that they could not go ahead with the lease as I hade taken out a loan of £10,000 with Royal Bank of Scotland and had never paid any of the monthly instalments. This was news to me so I called RBS and asked them to send me the paperwork, which they did.
Right enough there was a loan in my name taken out for £10,000. In the signature area was my name, written in Sandra’s handwriting. She didn’t have the savvy to copy my signature.
The paperwork was also witnessed by one of Sandra’s closest friends. I don’t know if that friend was part of the fraud or if she was unwittingly implicated in the fraud by Sandra, being ignorant of what Sandra was doing. I suspect Sandra implicated her in the fraud and was likely questioned by the police about it. I did meet the friend in a shopping centre not long after I found out about the fraud and I carefully mentioned it to her. She seemed shocked and worried.
The friend no longer has anything to do with Sandra, which gives me the impression she was implicated in the fraud unwittingly.
That was a long standing friendship, a very close one. Another in a long line of friends and family Sandra has shafted.
I called RBS and made them aware that the signature wasn’t mine, which they really should have checked, given my signature was on file. They then reported the fraud to the police who investigated it and arrested Sandra, who was taken to the local police station, fingerprinted, put in a cell and interviewed. Having worked with the police as a fingerprint officer I know the process and it is not pleasant.
Sandra called me the day after her arrest asking how I could do that to her. I did nothing. She stole from the bank and I reported to them that I hadn’t taken the loan out. The bank then reported the fraud to the police and an investigation was instigated. The police would have spoken to Sandra’s friend, who’s name and address was on the paperwork.
On top of the fraud Sandra was stealing the mail addressed to me from RBS, demanding the monthly payments.
Sandra made the excuse that she borrowed the funds on behalf of her brother to allow him to purchase double glazing as he could not get a loan.
He would then pay her the monthly fee to pay the loan off but the monthly fee was never paid. Which begs the question as to what happened to the funds her brother was giving her? I assume she was stealing his payments also.
Sandra’s only way to avoid arrest would have been to pay the £10,000 loan off. She didn’t have the money and neither did her brother. I certainly wasn’t paying it off for her. I’d already bailed her out of a fraud. And let’s face it, taking into account her thefts, affairs and pregnancies by other men, this was the sixth major time she’d shafted me. I’d had enough.
A message for Adam
Before you talk about giving chances look at the chances I gave your mum. Not chances for silly little things but lying, stealing and affairs leading to pregnancies. You're correct though, I should have taken the stance you would and walked away a long time ago. If I had done she would never have had the opportunity to bring up and influence three despicable kids with her Sociopathic and Narcissistic personality.
Sandra’s arrest was the catalyst for her bad feeling and subsequent attempts to ruin my life with false accusations and lies, which I will write about and post evidence.
The Cheat
Sandra had three affairs that I know of.
In 1992 I suspected her of having an affair with one of her friend’s husbands. I had no solid proof at the time though.
In late January, early February Sandra conceived, a surprise considering I was temporarily sterile due to the side effects of medication. Sandra had lost quite a bit of weight in the months prior to her pregnancy and made the excuse that she was ill, therefore more prone to falling pregnant. She obviously didn’t consider my infertility when contemplating her excuse. She had in fact lost weight through a lack of appetite and worry over the discovery of her affair.
Sophie was born in October 1993.
Several months after Sophie’s birth it was revealed that Sandra was having another affair, this time with her best friend’s husband, Mike. That caused a stir around the village.
Around a week after the discovery of her affair her paramour from her initial affair called me to give me abuse. I then called his wife to make her aware. I doubt she knows her husband may have another child outwith her marriage. If she reads this she’ll know who she is.
Sophie was born during a period of Sandra’s promiscuity, during which Sandra was having an affair with two of her friend’s husbands.
Given her promiscuity I doubt Sandra knows the identification of Sophie’s father. It’s quite possible both affairs were concurrent. I’m pretty certain I know who the father is though.
In early 2000 I discovered Sandra was having another affair, this time with a with a work colleague, Vic. Vic stupidly called our house one evening, drunk and crying over the phone for Sandra. I eventually told him where to go. When I told Sandra he had called she made excuses, obviously lying.
Vic’s partner eventually started calling me, asking me to keep her away from Vic. This was around 2002. She’d followed them, only to observe them having a sexual liaison in his car.
By then I couldn’t care less. I’d given Sandra enough chances.
These are the affairs I know of, two of them having been witnessed. It is highly likely there were others.
Sandra destroyed our family in her pursuit of money and sex.
