Introduction
Thursday 1st June, 2023.
My three kids hadn’t spoken to me since October 2021, for reasons we’ll delve into later.
Here I am though, standing at Stephanie’s front door.
I’d discovered earlier in the week that she’d had a son back in January. I hadn’t been told she’d been pregnant, she didn’t want me to know, nor did she want her grandparents to know. We’ll talk about that later though and how that cruelty developed.
Anyway, Adam had let it slip to my brother that she’d had a son. By then I had an idea though. None of them are great at hiding their social media profiles.
He let Stephanie know I was aware and I’d asked if I could go to see my Grandchild. She agreed and it was arranged I would visit early evening. I’m owe Stephanie some money too and had a cheque to give her which I thought she may be happy to receive.
So, I gave a knock on the door, expecting to see Stephanie. Her partner, Chris, answered. Now I’ve met him twice, once briefly when I handed a birthday gift into Stephanie at her previous address and a second, more social occasion a couple of Christmases ago, at Adam and Nicole’s place, not long after he and Stephanie became engaged. He seemed quite quiet and not too talkative, especially on that first occasion.
I asked him if Stephanie was in. ‘No’. Fair enough.
I told him Adam had told me she was expecting me.
‘Yes, she is in but she doesn’t want to talk to you’.
Ok, that would have sufficed in the first place.
Now as I said I thought he was just a quiet bloke who didn’t talk much. A bit shy.
Apparently though he’s a weirdo, according to Adam and Sophie. He’s a weirdo because he doesn’t socialise. He’s a weirdo because he suffers from social anxiety. Never mind Chris, I too was deemed a weirdo by the same people, due to suffering from depression. A depression initiated by years of emotional abuse by your partner’s mother, my ex-wife. Emotional abuse that began not long after Stephanie’s birth. Emotional abuse that still carries on but now it’s not only Sandra who administers the abuse, my three kids do it too. Emotional abuse that Adam, Stephanie and Sophie were, unwittingly, always party to. That part of the emotional abuse is the grooming. Stephanie was the main subject of that grooming by Sandra, as I’ll explain later.
What you're experiencing Chris, is back-stabbing at it’s worst, considering this is malice aimed at individuals struggling with mental health. But Chris, you were stabbed in the back by your partner’s family. That’s no big deal. I had similar animosity from Sandra’s family for years. But I’ve been stabbed in the back by my own kids. That’s a struggle to get over.
The three of them have been dishing it out since October 2021. No explanation, just cancel culture mentality.
And now the ultimate of emotional abuse - Stephanie concealing her pregnancy, the birth and now disallowing me the pleasure of seeing my grandchild. All with the approval, and planning, of her siblings, though I’m certain the situation has been forced upon Adam.
Given the last 18 years or so has been fine, particularly with Adam and Sophie (Stephanie fell out with me for a while), that does seem odd. So what’s happened? What’s been said that would encourage the abandonment of your father and grandparents, not allowing them the pleasure of the knowledge of a grandchild in my case, and a third great grandchild, in their grandparent’s case? Why act so cowardly, lacking the courage to come to me or their grandparents and tell us what we’ve done wrong? Why the malice? We’ll get to that during the course of the memoir.
Not only have they cut me off but they’ve cut their grandparents off also. Grandparents who loved them heaps and gave them, and their mother, lots. What is sickening is they are effectively taking advantage of their grandparent’s dementia.
‘Cut off’. That’s a phrase Adam used by the way. He explained it was a collective decision to cut us all off. Probably the reason he was so angry back in October 2021. I’m sure he’d have fought my corner. It can’t be easy being under the thumbs of four women (I include one other). The three of them have taken their mum’s lead in cutting friends and family off when they decide things aren’t to their liking. Their mum’s disengaged with many friends and most of her family due to disagreements over the years. I don’t know of anyone who has lost as many friends.
Quite a while ago I was told by someone that my family was toxic. I didn’t take too kindly to the suggestion but now I’m understanding the reason for such a sentiment.
So, having given a brief synopsis of what’s to come this is an apt place to end this introduction and begin our story. My family story. A story of emotional abuse and parental alienation. Not to mention duplicitous and toxic behaviour, as unwittingly experienced by Chris. Oh, and cowardice!
