Despicable 3
It was around September 2021 when I realise something wasn’t quite right and in late October I called Adam and was faced with a slobbering anger that indicated something was obviously very wrong. Read about that here.
Shortly after they all blocked me on social media and messaging platforms. Cancel culture typical of people who are so narcissistic they are happy to give an opinion but don’t want to hear or give the opportunity of another view.
Well this website is my platform to give my side of the story. With evidence.
These are three snowflakes. People so overly sensitive and with an inflated sense of uniqueness and self entitlement that they refused me the opportunity to have my say.
None of them have told me what I have done wrong, only Adam voicing in our telephone call his drivel regarding money, which I have addressed here (insert link).
The three of them are a great disappointment. They have turned out to be arrogant, obnoxious, ignorant people with a huge sense of entitlement. Horrible people who turned their backs, not only on me but on their grandparents as they grew old, and when their grandmother passed away refused to attend her funeral. A grandmother who, along with their grandfather, provided them with heaps of love and were exceptionally generous to them.
Not only are they the type of people you wouldn’t want as family but you really wouldn’t want them as friends. They will turn their backs on anyone, illustrated in a phone call with Adam when, discussing his mum he told me if his partner ever acted as his mum did with me he would be right out the door. In fact when I spoke to Adam in the summer of 2021 he told me he was on the verge of turning his back on a childhood friend. Why? Because he had a different view from Adam.
This is an attitude that comes from witnessing Sandra losing numerous friends and witnessing the break up of the relationships of her with her siblings and own mother and father when they were around.
This is what comes of bowing down to Sandra’s ongoing promotion of hatred which has plagued our family for years.
Adam, Stephanie and Sophie are three cowards who have never had the courage to face me and explain what I did wrong.
In 2023 I discovered Stephanie had a son. Adam then started talking to me again. He asked Stephanie if I could go to see him and I was invited. When I turned up at her door she wouldn’t answer, her partner explaining she didn’t want to see me. I called Adam who then called Stephanie who told him she wasn’t ready to see me. This was when Adam told me that he and Sophie deem her partner to be a weirdo as he has social anxiety issues. I’ll get to my opinion on that shortly.
It turned out prior to visiting Stephanie she had read the letter I wrote to them all. She obviously went in the huff and decided my experiences and opinions don’t matter. She’s been happy to listen to Sandra’s blatant lies and manipulation for years. She’s happy to accept her mum had affairs which led to pregnancies, defrauded a bank and credit card company and stole from my father’s sister though. But my view is unacceptable to her. I have to accept though that her attitude comes from years of grooming by her mother from an early age. Stephanie will never recover from that without psychological help and an acceptance and understanding of what Sandra did to her. And as a highly intelligent woman she must realise that repeatedly being told for years ‘We’ll get you a new dad’ isn’t merely Sandra having a dig at me. These are the words of a highly manipulative mother coercing, harassing and gaslighting her daughter into hating her father. Psychological Manipulation. Emotional Domestic Abuse.
Adam, Stephanie and Sophie have all taken sides. Stephanie and Sophie with a misguided loyalty to a mum they should be telling ‘We love you mum but you don’t do what you did’.
Adam with a seriously misguided loyalty to his sisters, who were very obviously happy to see him charged by his mum for staying with her while they reaped the benefits of free board.
Let’s sum up the type of duplicitous people they are with one example:
Adam commented that he and Sophie’s view of Stephanie’s partner is that he is a weirdo as he has social anxiety issues. Adam also called me a weirdo as I was experiencing a period of depression. These are two disparaging comments on a range of people with mental health issues. Possibly a hate crime.
Now, I’m sure Sophie won’t be happy at Adam for bringing forth her views of her sister’s partner. I’m sure Stephanie and, indeed, her partner will be less than delighted at her brother and sister’s views. And I’m sure Adam and Sophie treat Stephanie’s partner like he is the best thing since sliced bread. So two faced.
I’m also sure that anyone reading this who has had a mental health issue will be pretty disturbed and unsettled at the views of two less than pleasant people.
Why did they all turn their backs on me when our relationships seemed fine? And why have they not given me a reason?
Let’s examine 2021.
Adam’s partner’s birthday, 8th June 2021 I think I’m correct in saying, Maybe 9th.
A few dats after her birthday I received a call from Adam as I was about to travel home from work. He asked me to detour up to his house and get a piece of birthday cake, which I did. We stood at the front door talking and he mentioned there had been a party for his partner on the Saturday prior to her birthday. I asked why I wasn’t invited (I admit, it was a little dig knowing his mum would be there). He stated ‘Mum wouldn’t be seen dead in the same room as you’. An attitude she’s had since being arrested for fraud, blaming me for her arrest, rather than the fact she stole £15,000 from a bank. A statement not unexpected given the bad feeling she has and her unacceptance of fault.
A few days later though, Adam called me and told me he had spoken to Sandra and told her that the next time there was a gathering at his home he would invite me. His mum’s reaction was ‘Don’t expect me to talk to him’. An attitude she’s had since being arrested for fraud, blaming me for her arrest, rather than the fact she stole £15,000 from a bank. A statement not unexpected given the bad feeling she has and her unacceptance of fault. Have I already said that???
I was happy Adam had taken a less cowardly stance with his mum and explained to him that an invite would be appreciated and if I accepted I would turn up and leave if things were awkward. I have no interest in friction or discord in my life. I watched it in Sandra’s family for years. As I’m experiencing now it is highly unpleasant but some seem to thrive on conflict.
Father’s Day 20th June, 2021.
A couple of weeks prior to Father’s Day, Adam invited me to his house early morning on the day, which was much earlier than normal. Only this time he added ‘We’ll only be able to see you for half an hour in the morning as we have to go and see Sandra’s partner.
A week prior to Father’s Day I called Adam and told him to forget about me and to go and see Sandra’s partner. I won’t pretend, I felt I was being invited early just to get me out of the door so they can see their ‘new dad’. Believe me, it still grates on me. I spent the best part of my marriage and from the first year of Stephanie’s life being gaslighted and emotionally abused, along with Adam, Stephanie and Sophie. It has a long lasting effect.
Adam seemed upset, which surprised me, given I was freeing up his morning, allowing him to go about his plans with his mum and her partner. He asked me to consider and call him if I changed his mind.
I didn’t talk to him until Father’s Day when he asked if I was going to attend I said I would. He asked me to turn up around 11am, originally it was to be 10am. I don’t know if he therefore changed his plans for the day to accommodate me. That may have caused an issue with his sisters, particularly Stephanie. I don’t know, it’s an assumption I am making based on what was to develop.
On the morning of Father’s Day Stephanie messaged me ‘Happy Father’s Day (2 smiley faces). See you soon for brekkie at Asda’s (egg and bacon emojis).
She then messaged that Sophie would pick her up and she would see me there.
When I arrived Stephanie wasn’t there, making the excuse she had sore legs from lying in the sun.
Adam, his partner and Sophie and her partner were all there.
Now this is where things get a bit strange.
The day was very pleasant. We had breakfast and then sat down to chat, Adam putting the TV on to watch the football.
The conversation was mainly between Adam and his partner and Sophie and her partner.
Much of the conversation was geared towards Sandra and her partner, nothing I could get involved in.
I watched whatever football was on as they were talking.
I will comment on this soon as there is an issue that developed here.
Around 2pm it was time to go and we went outside. Sophie showed me her new car and we had a conversation around my own car as I had cracked the windscreen. Adam and his partner said goodbye and I shouted Sophie over as I had missed her partner’s 30th birthday. I told her I would buy him something and give him it next time he was through. This part is important as it turns out Adam’s partner has an issue with me talking to Sophie alone.
As I was talking to Sophie we spoke about my relationship with them all and the fact I had never met any of their partner’s parents, to which Sophie advised inviting them for a coffee.
I then made a grave mistake as the conversation went onto Sandra. In a call to Adam a few weeks prior I had told him about Sandra stealing from me at the beginning of our marriage (no, the fraud wasn’t the first time) and he had if that had been him he would have walked away. As he said at the time, ‘ You brought it on yourself’. My grave mistake was to mention the conversation to Sophie. It upset her and and within 20 minutes I messaged her to apologise as she drove home.
The rest of 2021.
Over the ensuing months all was fine. We all messaged back and forth, nothing important, trivia like plumbing and house maintenance, football and running. Adam at one point called me to say he had fallen and broken his arm.
Absolutely no sign of an issue.
Around the end of August Sandra and her partner, Adam, Stephanie and Sophie and their partners all went to Inverness for a long weekend that had been cancelled the year prior due to the COVID pandemic. Mybe Stephanie’s partner was missing, I don’t know.
That gathering is important as it is no coincidence that within less than a month none of them were talking to me.
On my birthday, early September, I received a ‘Happy Birthday’ message from Stephanie and Adam visited me with two bottles of wine, obviously unwanted gifts. This was unusual as they had always done something special and if drink was to be involved it would be whisky.
As I suspected, something was up.
Sunday 24th October, 2021.
This is the day I called Adam to find out what was wrong. This is the day Adam revealed his psychopathy and was violently angry towards me without reason.
On the call he talked nonsense about money. See here.
He also claimed that I had been rude on Father’s Day and that I had ignored him when he tried to talk to me. I will explain this soon.
I then drove to his house and knocked on his door. He came out spitting and shouting, fists flying, very psychotic.
His partner grabbed me to push me away. As she did so she mentioned my conversation with Sophie as we left her house on Father’s Day. I got the impression then that my mistake mentioning what Adam had said about Sandra was the issue but when I spoke to Adam in 2023 he was unaware I had mentioned it to Sophie.
To this day I am no further forward as to why he was so angry.
BUT, as I said, it is no coincidence that they had a gathering in August.
I have spoken about the situation at work, to friends and to counsellors and the question that keeps cropping up is ‘What has she (Sandra) said to them’?
It is also no coincidence that at in late 2020 Stephanie called me to tell me she thought she ad been pregnant. She was obviously planning a family and planning a wedding. Both of these things I know. My involvement in any of these events would be highly disturbing to Sandra, given her bitterness over her arrest.
The indications are that she has likely told them all she doesn’t want me involved. It has caused a family fall out as, prior to Christmas 2021 my niece messaged Sophie to make her aware her Grandparents had gifts for her and her siblings. Sophie messaged back saying there had been a family fallout and they wouldn’t be picking up the gifts. How ignorant. She also stated that they had all, as a collective, decided to cut my family off.
Now just to make it clear, I wasn’t involved in that fallout. That was their fallout.
Sandra has a lot to be embarrassed about facing my family. Not only are they all aware she stole a lot of money and was in debt, not only are they aware of her affairs but the are also aware Sandra stole from my father’s sister. An awful lot to be embarrassed about.
By cutting off my family Adam, Stephanie and Sophie are protecting Sandra from her own discretions.
As a covert narcissist Sandra cannot allow herself to be found out. Sandra is protecting herself. She cares not a jot about Adam, Stephanie or Sophie, her Flying Monkeys.
For Sandra to face any of my family would be highly embarrassing. These were people who were all extremely close to her. But she stole from me. She stole from my father's sister. She was screwing around behind my back. And I recently discovered she tried it on with on of my friends. She was heavily in debt. She stole from financial institutions. She's a narcissist, a sociopath and, like our kids, a coward.
That doesn’t, though, answer the question as to Adam’s psychopathic anger. An anger so vile that there would have to be very strong reason to show such emotion.
What I always must bear in mind is my experience of Sandra’s lying. Pathological lying. She will lie for her own gain and she will lie to destroy someone. And she will lie to Adam, Stephanie and Sophie. Adam knows that. He’s admitted as much to me. She will lie about me. I’ve experienced it. I witnessed her lying about me to my parents. When I confronted her about it and asked why she lied, her answer was ‘because I wanted to’. With Adam, Stephanie and Sophie she knows they won’t confront me should she lie about me. They’ll learn the truth if they did. And they don’t want to hear the truth.
So what has she said to them? Sandra would have no qualms about telling them a lie so outrageous they would hate me. That’s the type of person she is. And the anger Adam displayed suggests that she did so.
In late 2024 I approached a solicitor to try to gain access to my grandchild (Stephanie's son). I received a letter from Stephanie's solicitor accusing me of domestic abuse.
So here's a message for Stephanie: Don't get my anger at your mum's psychological and emotional abuse confused with physical or psychological abuse. Your mum is an abuser and my anger was the result of years of watching her manipulate and psychologically abuse you in particular. You didn't deserve a mum like that. She deliberately drove a wedge between us and prevented me from building a relationship with you, through gaslighting, lies and deceit.
There is a chain of abuse here. Sandra was abused physically by her father. Sandra abused her our kids and myself. And Adam, Stephanie and Sophie are now psychological and emotional abusers which, all things considered, is not surprising. They had a good coach.
