2024
Stephanie’s son, my grandchild, was born one year ago in January. I still await an introduction. Remember, I almost met him on 1st June 2023 when I was invited to Stephanie’s house to meet him.
Tuesday, 20th February, 2024. Prior to the current situation with Adam he'd asked me to let me know if any jobs would be available in the organisation I work for. I told him I would look out for him. Today I received notification of employment posts online and texted him to make him aware. A really good opportunity for someone his age who is currently unhappy at work. He's still in the huff.
Let's be clear here, Adam, Stephanie and Sophie are all adults. Not wee bairns who have had their Haribos taken from them in case they eat too much. That comes from the influence of a mum who has lost many friends.
Thursday, 21 March, 2024
I wrote and sent a letter to Stephanie expressing my disappointment in her sending back the money, particularly the cheque from her grandparents, given they have always been good to her. I also asked if I could see my grandson.
Saturday, 23rd March, 2024
My mum passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in her sleep. I, my brothers, her daughters in law, her grandchildren and great grandchildren were devastated. With the exception of Adam, Stephanie, and Sophie.
I messaged Adam at 12:44pm to to make him aware. This was his response:
'I’m sorry to hear… il call you soon'
He called around 4-5 hours later.
We had a chat and Stephanie and Sophie inevitably crept into the conversation. I asked Adam to have a word with them so we can all sit down and clear things up. Remember, there has been no indication as to why all this huffing started, though their mum undoubtedly has an influence, certainly throughout the years and is very likely the cause of the current situation. Adam feels they are frightened at my reaction. Is that an indication that they realise what they have done is a disgrace? They have no reason to fear my reaction but plenty reason to be embarrassed by their own actions.
Sunday, 24th March, 2024
I decided to go for a walk up by Liff as sitting in the house was painful. When out I called Malcolm who suggested dropping in on Adam for a chat. On the way back I called Adam. He went mental!!!. He had spoken to Stephanie who had received my letter on Friday and had taken umbrage at it, though there was nothing offensive written.
He hung up and this was his response on WhatsApp.
I don’t want any more phone calls…. If I want to contact you I will until then leave me alone… I’m never going to agree with you so a conversation in any way is pointless..
Remember, I just lost my mum and he just lost his gran.
He's never going to agree with me. Agree to what?
The fact is he does agree with me. When he bumped into me in Victoria Hospital in June 2023, he had just received my letter. He said to me 'I got your letter and I agree with a lot of what is in it'. When he came to see me in October 2023 he told me his mum is a liar and a very bitter woman.
So Adam, yes you do agree with me. You've told me you do. You can't disagree with fact and evidence.
And herein lies Adam's problem:
A pattern has emerged which I noticed months ago but kept to myself. Then I was talking about the situation to a friend who commented 'a pattern is emerging with your son'.
And that pattern? Adam will talk to me and will be fine. Then he'll talk to his mum, sisters or partner and they will heavily influence him. And he'll get angry and take it out on me. An interesting thing about Adam that I realised years ago is that he will show bravado in front of the women in his life. The night of his violent temper when all this kicked off he was showing bravado in front of his partner, on the phone and when I went up to find out what was up. Well I call it bravado but it's more chavish behaviour. 'I'll punch your puss' he told me. You know, the type of action louts do when in reality they don't have a reasoning or a clue why they're arguing in the first place.
Yes, Adam is heavily influenced by his mum, sisters and partner. Heavily influenced by a liar, a thief and a cheat, just like his sisters have been. Heavily influenced by a mum he agrees is a liar, a thief and a cheat. The evidence is there.
I know it must be difficult, being brought up with two sisters. A completely different experience to my own, with two brothers. I appreciate I was brought up in a loving family with never a fall out, unlike his mum and her family. But sometime in his life he needs to grow a pair, have conviction and wipe away one of his faces, pulling himself out from under four thumbs.
