2021
Early June, 2021, It may have been the day I visited Adam and Nicole as it was Nicole’s birthday. Adam invited me to his house on Father’s Day but mentioned it would only be a half hour or so in the morning for breakfast as he had to go and see George (Sandra’s partner). I won’t pretend, that hurt. I suffered years of the new dad nonsense. I get to see my kids for half an hour early Sunday morning to get it out of the way. In the past I saw them all together for a decent period of time. Let’s face it, Sophie lives in Edinburgh and I rarely see Stephanie and Adam together. Father’s Day and Birthdays being about the only time we were all together. Twice per year. Fair enough though, I accepted the invite as I always do.
Thursday 10th June, 2021, I was leaving Aldi when Adam called asking me to drop by to pick up a couple of pieces of Nicole’s birthday cake. When I arrived Adam came to the door and handed me the cake. We got into conversation and he told me Nicole had had a birthday barbeque a few days earlier. Now, I must confess to pushing things a bit here. He told me his mum and George had been invited so I asked why I hadn’t. I knew what the answer would be, ‘Mum won’t be seen dead in the same room as you’. I’m not sure I’d like to be seen in the same room as someone I’d fraudulently taken money from either, especially if I’d been arrested, fingerprinted, dumped in a cell and interviewed. We said cheerio, and I went home and enjoyed my piece of cake.
Sunday 13th June, 2021, I called Adam and told him not to bother arranging breakfast for Father’s Day and to go and see George. He seemed surprised and possibly hurt, which hit me, but I didn’t see any point in a brief visit in the morning. He asked me to tell him closer to the time in case I changed my mind. Due to the nature of the conversation and, let’s not beat about the bush here, he gave the impression he’d rather spend time with his mum’s partner, the conversation turned to his mum. Adam has always said he would rather have a mum and dad who talked to each other. (I tried by the way, a few tears earlier, asking Stephanie to ask her mum for a meeting. The bad feeling being Sandra’s part, the meeting never transpired.). Anyway, Adam started the blame game, not fully realising there were two of us involved in the marriage. I defended myself, telling him why I often was angry with her, telling him of her theft in the early days of our marriage. To which he replied ‘I would have left her long ago’. That is important as it leads to a huge mistake on my part.
In this same phone call Adam told me he had spoken to Sandra, telling her that he would invite me to the next event he had at his home. Her reaction? ‘Well don’t expect me to talk to him’. That’s only to be expected. I told Adam if I was invited I may or may not come and if I did and there was awkwardness I would leave. Now this is really important as I will address a suspicion I have later, a suspicion borne of comments Adam has made.
Father’s Day, Sunday 20th June, 2021. Adam had called me on the Saturday and I told him I would visit.
9:53 Sunday morning, text from Stephanie, ‘Happy Father’s Day, See you soon for brekkie at Adam’s’.
We were to meet at Adam and Nicole’s at 11am, Stephanie being picked up by Sophie as she had a sore leg. She’d burnt it sunning herself on Broughty Ferry Beach.
When I arrived Sophie and Neil (Sophie’s partner) were there but apparently Stephanie’s leg was too sore. Must have had a sudden flare up.
We had breakfast then sat in the lounge talking. Adam had the football on TV as he usually does. The conversation went from Nicole’s birthday to Sandra and George to Sophie and Neil’s boiler. I wasn’t involved in too much of the conversation as much of it centred around Sandra and George. It was a pleasant day though. We stayed longer than anticipated and myself, Sophie and Neil left around 1.30ish. We all hung around chatting outside for 10-15 minutes and I beckoned Sophie over before getting into my car. I wanted to let her know that, as I’d missed Neil’s 30th birthday I would get him something and see him the next time they were in Dundee. As I’d been a bit low the weeks prior, mainly due to work and the fact my dad hasn’t been doing well and continues to deteriorate she asked how I was. For some reason the conversation got to her mum and that’s when I made the mistake of telling her what Adam had said to me.
The following day I called Adam to thank him and Nicole for the breakfast and the day as a whole.
The following days and months were fine. I messaged Sophie about repair work she needed done at home and offered to call a handyman I know and other idle chit chat right up until around October.
I messaged Stephanie, asking about het leg, we spoke about running and other idle chit chat, right up until October.
I messaged Adam, as we did a lot, talking about football and a variety of idle chit chat, right up until October. He also called me at one point to let me know he’d fallen and broken his arm.
Within that timescale their grandparents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary which, despite knowing of the event, all chose to ignore it, no phone calls or celebratory cards. Adam, believe it or not, getting caught up in his garden, although having said he would come along.
So as you can see things were fine, though their ignorance of their grandparents’ anniversary was indication something was amiss, particularly Adam as he wouldn’t normally let them down.
Sunday 24th October, 2021. I called Adam as I’d sensed something was wrong. The best way I can describe the call is, well, he went off his f****** head. Right from the start he was violently angry. Whoa there Adam, what’s up. He then proceeded to tell me I’d been ignorant on Father’s Day four months earlier. That’s right four months earlier. I was taken aback and hadn’t a clue what he was talking about. He then went on to say Nicole wouldn’t have me back in the house. Hold on here, had I tried to murder her? (an aside here, as much as I didn’t get on with Sandra’s parents I’d never have stopped them visiting Sandra in her own house. Sandra would never have stopped me seeing my own parents either. Possibly an indication of the cancel culture mentality prevalent in some people nowadays). As I say I was taken aback as I was pleasant on the day. I was offered an explanation though, which I will come to later in the story.
He then proceeded to fly off the handle about money. “Stephanie’s saving for a wedding’ (as I said earlier I owed her money, which she was well aware of). He then started to go off on one about money I was ‘owed to him’. Just to explain, he’d taken out a loan when he lived with me, as I’d gone behind with my mortgage (business was failing). He didn’t have to but he needed somewhere to stay and, having had a failed attempt at going and living with a thieving friend, came back to stay with me. There was no way he was going to stay with his mum at £80 per week. Prior to his failed attempt at living in his own house he’d stayed with me rent free, though he did pay the gas bill at £30 per month. I never asked him for rent but had I done so likely wouldn’t have fallen behind with mortgage payments. There was never an agreement he would ask for or be paid back the money. He was in a rage but it wasn’t him talking it was his mum and very probably at least one of his sisters. I’ll come back to this later as there is a repeat performance in another call. What is astonishing is he has taken financial advice from a fraudster and thief, not to mention a liar.
During that phone call Adam actually said to me 'How can you take money from your son for rent?' That was his mum talking and Adam obviously cannot see the irony in that, given his mum was wanting to charge him £80 per week rent to stay with her. He has acknowledged that fact to me recently and that £80 per week is why he stayed with me, rent free, for a very long time.
After the call I decided to drive to Adam’s house to try and get some reasoning. As I approached the door he came out fist flying, Nicole holding him back. Nicole pushed me away, explaining something about me talking to Sophie outside on the Father’s Day. That could only have been me telling Sophie what Adam had said about his mum. In a strange twist which I’ll get to later, in a conversation I had with Adam, he was unaware I’d told Sophie what he’d said. Hmmm!
The following day I had a visit from two police officers telling me a male member of my family had asked that I stay away from him. On asking who that was they refused to say. How does that work, am I supposed to stay away from every male member of my family? Anyway I decided to assume it had been Adam and I was correct. In a conversation a year and a bit later when he started speaking to me again he admitted it was him but that he did it to protect himself from his own violent temper. That's right this whole thing just gets more and more laughable.
On the run up to Christmas 2021 my parents, as always, bought Christmas presents for them all. And when I say all I mean Sophie and her partner Neil, Adam and Nicole and Stephanie and her partner Chris, even though they had never met Chris. They would never leave anyone out. I also bought them all gifts, leaving them at my parent’s house thinking, although not talking to me they would visit their grandparents as they normally would.
My niece actually texted Sophie to make her aware that there were gifts ready for them only for Sophie to text back that they would not be picking them up and that they hah had a family fall out. By anyone’s account, sheer ignorance. Little wonder my niece was livid, particularly as she has always shown heaps of love towards her grandparents. This was their first grandkids (Adam and Stephanie, Sophie being the fifth) treating them like, well, shit on a shoe. Despicable behaviour, especially as by now dementia had reared it’s ugly head in their grandparents. Shocking!
